Your Vibe Attracts Your Tribe

Your Vibe Attracts Your Tribe

What do you say to your uncles & aunts besides ‘hi’ & ‘hello’ when you go to meet them? Are you able to connect with them on an emotional level? Why is it that I can’t hug and kiss my uncles & aunts?

Coming from a reserved family, I always faced difficulty in forming a close relationship with my uncles or aunts. There was always this mental barrier that I couldn’t pass through. I wasn’t learning anything from them because we weren’t having interactions that went beyond the surface-level. A typical conversation with any of my aunts would go like this:

“Hi beta, how are you?”

“Namaste aunty, I’m good. What about you?”

“Good, beta. How’s your mom?”

“She’s good, aunty.”

And then there would be an awkward silence because there’s nothing to talk about.

Growing up in such an environment where people can’t share their feelings, I have also become like that. Whenever I meet new people, I face great difficulty in making conversation. Even today, it is hard for me to open up. I always have to think hard “Ab kya bolu?”

When I was in junior college, I thought the people I was around were very immature and superficial. And somewhere down the line, because of them, I became like that too. Or I thought so.

 I was always very conscious of myself or what I would speak. I couldn’t let go of small things. The only things we talked about were – clothes, makeup, boys, etc. I couldn’t confide in my friends about my deepest fears or my strongest desires. I feared being judged. 

I couldn’t thrive among such people. I was wasting my time. I wasn’t learning anything. People around me didn’t care for learning. They lacked drive. They weren’t passionate about anything that mattered. With them, it was always meaningless small talk. Instead of exploring new things together, we were more focused on Instagram. 

“Did you see her new post on Instagram?”

“OMG, he’s dating her!!!” 

“Did you see what she was wearing?”

And that’s all there ever was.

Now there are 2 possible things to this which I couldn’t see – either they were bound by the surroundings that made them so or it was actually me who was immature. I couldn’t separate myself from my mind. I couldn’t see that it was my mind that was actually forming these judgments. 

When I was in my final year of college, I got the opportunity to work on a project by the Enterprise India Fellowship program called #करो. There was this place where people would go and work for hours. It was called the Enterprise Space. Everyone was so warm and welcoming. I thoroughly enjoyed those 3 weeks there. I could easily make friends, share my problems and feelings. That was one of the best times of my life.

In March 2020, lockdown was announced. Everyone’s life was put on hold. There was so much to do. From cooking to cleaning & even washing clothes. After a month, everything became a part of the routine. But I wasn’t doing anything productive. I wasn’t learning new things. I tried to push myself to learn new things. And the fact that I had to push myself to do it, says that my heart was not in it. 

Finally, I decided to apply for the Enterprise Fellowship program. It was a chance for me to grow and get out of my comfort zone. But somewhere at the back of my mind, the idea of not being able to go to Space was bothering me. I wasn’t sure if I’ll be able to work from home – my comfort zone.

One month into the program, I was learning new things, doing things that I never thought I would alone. I felt like learning and trying new things every day. I didn’t want to sit idle for even one second. This got me thinking.   

Why now? Why am I not feeling lazy now? How come I'm learning so many things without being told to?

There’s no exam for this. Why was this happening now?

I realized it is not the environment that matters. It is the people. It is the culture. It’s their hunger. Or is it me? Has my perspective changed? Or is it my mindset?

Space is not a physical space. Space is where the people are. People who are hungry, motivated, explorative, open-minded, non-judgmental, positive, loving, and helpful. It doesn’t matter where I work from. It’s the people around me that matters. 

Everyone has heard the saying “A man is known by the company he keeps.” You are what your friends are. I have heard this so many times. When you are young you don’t understand how important a role the people around you play in your life.

When you are happy, the world appears happy to you and when you are sad, the world appears sad to you. Similarly, when you are non-judgmental, the world appears non-judgmental to you. And when you are open, people around you are more open to receiving you and you are more open to receiving them. 

Why should it be awkward for me to hug my relatives or even make conversation with new people? Sometimes it is not the people who hinder your growth, it is your own mind. Your mind creates these mental barriers which are not even there. Throughout my life, I’ve seen myself evolve. As the people around me changed, so did I. They have molded me into who I am. For me, it is very important to surround myself with positive people. 

But nothing is constant, right? What happens when these positive people are no more around me? Does that mean I won’t be able to grow anymore? This shouldn’t be a strong factor in my growth. It should come from me, my heart, not from the people around me. In the end, it’ll be me who’s responsible for my growth or for who I am. Not them.

Sure, the people around play an important role in your life. But they’re not responsible for your life or the choices you make.

31 Comments
  • Dhruvi Oswal
    Posted at 21:41h, 16 October Reply

    Apeksha, That’s some refreshing perspective!!!
    So proud.

    • Apeksha Rathod
      Posted at 22:45h, 16 October Reply

      thanks Dhruvi 🙂

  • Dhruv Gupta
    Posted at 22:41h, 16 October Reply

    Loved the honesty in the blog

    • Apeksha Rathod
      Posted at 22:46h, 16 October Reply

      thanks 🙂

  • Jay+Shah
    Posted at 23:29h, 16 October Reply

    So nicely written! Could relate in many ways

    • Apeksha Rathod
      Posted at 23:48h, 16 October Reply

      Thank youu Jay 🙂

  • Yusuf
    Posted at 23:37h, 16 October Reply

    Apeksha, that’s written so well! You’ve expressed what you’ve felt brilliantly. I could relate with the awkward conversations completely

    • Apeksha Rathod
      Posted at 23:47h, 16 October Reply

      Thank you so much! 🙂

  • Rohini
    Posted at 00:53h, 17 October Reply

    Wow Apeksha 🙂 This is awesome…Feeling so connected with this.

    • Apeksha Rathod
      Posted at 09:41h, 17 October Reply

      I’m so glad you could relate 🙂
      Thank you!

  • Kartiki
    Posted at 01:55h, 17 October Reply

    Very well written….I have felt the same!!!

    • Apeksha Rathod
      Posted at 09:40h, 17 October Reply

      I’m so glad! Thank you 🙂

  • Abhinav Das
    Posted at 09:36h, 17 October Reply

    This is lovely Apeksha, loved the truth in this and there is a feeling of growth associated with you after reading this!

    • Apeksha Rathod
      Posted at 09:40h, 17 October Reply

      Thanks so much Abhinav 🙂

  • Vishal Bagdi
    Posted at 12:41h, 17 October Reply

    APPUUUU! This is such a beautiful piece, man. Very enlightening. Really takes a life of its own, this story. I’m glad I’ve been a part of this journey as well, with you. Keep growing, keep learning and keep sharing. :’) love this. ❤️

    • Apeksha Rathod
      Posted at 12:51h, 17 October Reply

      Thanks buddy!! Means a lot 🙂

  • Yukti Gupta
    Posted at 14:05h, 17 October Reply

    loved how you put everything in words! everything felt so real and relatable

    • Apeksha Rathod
      Posted at 14:15h, 17 October Reply

      Thank you Yuks 🙂

  • Mitali
    Posted at 14:06h, 17 October Reply

    Wow! You have had an amazing journey, so proud that you overcame your fears

    • Apeksha Rathod
      Posted at 14:15h, 17 October Reply

      Thank you so much Mitali 🙂

  • Manali Patel
    Posted at 14:08h, 17 October Reply

    Wonderfully written, could relate in many ways. Very honest work!

    • Apeksha Rathod
      Posted at 14:13h, 17 October Reply

      Thank you so much Manali 🙂

  • Anurag Wasankar
    Posted at 21:29h, 17 October Reply

    Wow, nicely written and extremely relatable.

    • Apeksha Rathod
      Posted at 21:31h, 17 October Reply

      Thanks Anurag 🙂

  • Neha Kulkarni
    Posted at 00:29h, 18 October Reply

    So on point! Thoughtful and well written! Keep growing <3

    • Apeksha Rathod
      Posted at 07:16h, 18 October Reply

      Thanks Neha 🙂

  • Aditya Rathod
    Posted at 11:10h, 18 October Reply

    Sister from same mister. Proud of u 😚

    • Apeksha Rathod
      Posted at 11:11h, 18 October Reply

      Aww!Thanks Adi 🙂

  • Namrata Kumar
    Posted at 11:21h, 18 October Reply

    Hey, this is incredibly!!
    Very relatable 🙂

    • Apeksha Rathod
      Posted at 11:26h, 18 October Reply

      Thanks Namrata 🙂

  • Namrata Kumar
    Posted at 11:22h, 18 October Reply

    Incredible*

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