A plant needs the care to grow, not too much and not too little. During the lockdown like everyone else, I was dull. I spent hours staring at the screen of my phone but on the other hand, it was a great time for me and somehow I realized that I needed care too just like a plant. Fortunately, after the lockdown, I started to get a lot of opportunities that I was passionate about. I said yes to every single opportunity that came my way. I was overloaded with meetings to attend, sessions to conduct, assignments to complete, and projects to execute.
I felt fantastic because I used to be very productive throughout the day.
But soon enough, my body started to act up, my hair started falling out, I felt uneasy all the time. My mind was constantly thinking, thinking of tasks that I need to do, meetings that I need to attend and I felt like a machine.
Now when I look back, I ask myself why I felt a need to say yes to every opportunity. I believe the answer goes back to my childhood. Since I was born I have always been told that I am not good enough and my mom was the only person who believed in me. I believe, I never wanted to disappoint her. I wanted to prove everyone wrong who thought that I can not do anything.
With the hectic schedule, I had no time left for myself. I missed giving myself a hot oil head massage. I realized that these are the things that really matter to me.
At one point, I decided that I won’t say yes to every opportunity I will rather prioritize. Even when writing this blog, I was introduced
to some fascinating Capluse projects but I convinced my heart that I would finish writing this first and then will take up other projects.
I don’t do it to prove someone wrong anymore. I do it for myself, I do it because I love it. I still have a lot of things to do in a day and I am still figuring out how to focus on myself. But I love how I’m able to give myself some more time in the shower and I have also resumed my hot oil massage. I can hang out with my friends, I can read more pages, I can play more, I can travel more.
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