Accept finite disappointment but never lose infinite hope

As a person who loves to travel, getting into a college abroad was my ultimate dream. But, soon after I started applying for colleges, I realised that this might remain a dream forever. I was only applying to colleges in India because I had missed the application deadlines for all international colleges. Just when I thought that I was going to spend my entire life in my home country, my math teacher asked me to apply for this college called SP Jain, which had a tri-city course. Singapore, Dubai, Australia… what else could I ask for? I instantly applied and, I got in! I could not wait to start my journey.

First two years of college, I had the time of my life. I came back home from Dubai for the spring break and, I never went back. COVID-19 had hit, all flights got cancelled, and my university stopped classes. Who knew it would be my last time seeing my friends, college, and my apartment, in probably forever? I was bummed out. I prayed and prayed, hoping that it would just be a short while until I went back. But it just got worse. I could not go back to Dubai. I even had to ask my friend to pack all my stuff and ship it to me. The government imposed a lockdown everywhere. My classes began online and, I felt trapped within the four walls of my house.  I started to accept the fact that this is how it is going to be for a while.

My social life had become non-existent, and I started to lose touch with all my friends. Soon I found myself in a state where I was only sitting in front of the screen and doing absolutely nothing. I  stopped all my extra-circular activities and everything I would do otherwise to help me build a career. It made me feel extremely useless and worthless. I was procrastinating to work, to study or to even make an effort to learn or experience new things that would possibly help me in my career. I had made terms with the fact that this is how my life was going to be…FUTILE. People around me were doing all kinds of things and achieving new milestones in their lives but, I was just wasting my time. One day, something struck me, and I just decided that I did not want to live like this anymore. I am not going to let COVID take control of my life. I started looking for opportunities to learn and grow. That’s when I joined a business club called TAMID at college and participated actively as a member. I also joined a fellowship, Enterprise, that would give me the opportunity to work on actual projects and get learning experience.

I started working on projects and sitting for extra education sessions. Although it was not something extraordinary, it made me feel like I was being useful. I finally felt like I was living a normal life. It made me want to do more things. But I realised that happiness was very short-lived. I felt waves of emotions. Being proactive was giving me the rush but, there were moments when I just wanted to leave all of this and live a normal life in Australia. But that was not possible. Just thinking about how my life would’ve been had COVID not happened made me realise how badly it had affected my life. With little ups and downs, I still continued to fight and not let it affect me. I tried to do more things that made me happy. I started painting again, workout and, I also applied for an all-paid fellowship in Israel through TAMID and even got on the waitlist. Things were starting to pan out for me and, busy being made me feel productive and content with myself.

Although I was making a little progress with my work and just life in general, Sydney never left my mind. At the end of the day, when I am on my bed, trying to go to sleep, all I would think about was how it would feel like to be and live in Sydney. What will it be like to live like an actual student again? I had no hope left and knew that only some miracle could let me have my once chance at living my final semester in Sydney and, guess what? That miracle happened! I am going to Sydney in two weeks! It’s no longer a dream! I could not believe it until I had finally booked my tickets. It was almost like God’s way of letting me celebrate the new year! I am so happy to finally get the chance to meet my friends and see my professors. I am so grateful, and I want to use this opportunity to enjoy as much as I can and make up for all the fun I have missed out on. I want to forget all the bad memories and start the new year on a new page.

This pandemic has taught me a lot of things and, one of them is resilience. Just when you think you have figured out things, the universe will through a curveball at you, like this pandemic. So, you need to improvise. Fight to survive and not let it take control over you. Find what makes you happy. You might find it in unexpected places and, someday, you will find yourself back to the place that matters to you the most. The universe is funny that way. Sometimes it just has a way of making sure you wind up exactly where you belong.