Finding Balance in Chaos

Starting my CA articleship seven months ago felt like embarking on a thrilling roller coaster ride. I was filled with a blend of excitement and nervous anticipation, ready to take on the challenges that lay ahead. The prospect of this new chapter in my career was exhilarating, and I felt well-prepared to face any obstacles. It was as if I had boarded a ship set sail for a grand adventure.

At that time, I also made a conscious effort to maintain a balanced lifestyle. I had started working out regularly, which helped me stay physically fit and mentally sharp. Additionally, I was making time for my friends and family, ensuring that my relationships remained strong and supportive. It felt like I had found a perfect rhythm, balancing work, personal life, and self-care seamlessly.

However, as the months passed, the reality of the articleship began to set in. Around the three-month mark, the workload intensified, and I found myself juggling multiple responsibilities. The initial excitement started to wane as the pressure mounted. I struggled to keep up with my workout routine, and eventually, I stopped exercising altogether. The stress became overwhelming, and I even took some time off from work to regroup. This abrupt shift in my routine left me feeling disoriented and questioning my path.

One of the most poignant sacrifices I had to make was missing a trip to Ladakh. I was packed and ready, thrilled about the adventure that awaited. We were set to leave the next day when my exam dates were announced. The timing couldn’t have been worse. I had to cancel my trip because of the exam. Not wanting to ruin everyone else’s plans, I encouraged them to go ahead without me. Watching them leave while I stayed behind to study felt like standing on the shore as my ship sailed away without me.

In recent times, this sense of being lost has only deepened. I’ve invested so much time and energy into my articleship, often at the expense of other aspects of my life. I’ve missed out on important moments with friends and family, all in pursuit of my career goals. The high expectations I set for myself have become a significant hurdle. I wanted to excel in every aspect of my life, but when I fall short of these lofty goals, the doubts and fears creep in, making me question whether the sacrifices are worth it and if I am truly capable of achieving my goals.

While the struggle to regain my footing and return to the ideal state I was in six months ago has been a constant battle, I have realized that there have been moments of triumph. Filing my very first income tax return was one such high. It felt like I was on top of the world, a fleeting but powerful reminder of why I embarked on this journey in the first place.

As I navigate through this challenging period, I remind myself that every journey has its ups and downs. The important thing is to keep moving forward.

I’ve started to take small steps towards regaining my balance. I’ve reintroduced light exercise into my routine, not as a rigorous workout, but as a way to clear my mind and regain some physical vitality. I’m also making an effort to reconnect with friends and family, cherishing the moments we share, even if they are brief.

I’ve come to realize that it’s okay to not have everything figured out. The pressure to excel in every aspect of my life was self-imposed, and it’s important to give myself grace. Life, much like my articleship journey, is a marathon, not a sprint. There will be moments of exhaustion and doubt, but there will also be moments of triumph and clarity.

In the end, it’s not about the destination but the journey itself. Each step, each stumble, and each small victory contribute to my growth. And I have to learn to celebrate every victory no matter how small it is.

Author
Swayam Ustoorikar