It Always Makes Sense In The End

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Lack of direction,not lack of time, is the problem.We all have twenty-four hour days!       

                                                                                                                                                         – Zig Zigler

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I absolutely love sports and basketball has played an integral role in who I am today. I used to regularly play for my school team. It was a journey full of good memories but it also had some negative ones which have had an everlasting impact on my life. In the 9th standard, our team was on fire in practice and everyone was working really hard. Word had spread in the school that this year the boy’s basketball team will win the Zilla-Parishad tournament and the whole team will be going to Zonals. I was playing well that year. I was certain that I’ll get to play an integral role in the team.

Our very first match was against a team which was a strong contender. Our team struggled to stage a comeback after giving away an early lead. Meanwhile, I was watching the court from the bench feeling utterly HELPLESS. I had performed well in practice and was promised to have a good amount of game time but come the day of the match, all my hopes had gone for a toss. Our coach made last-minute decisions that backfired. Eventually, we lost the match by just 1 point and all our hopes of winning the title, blew up in thin air, I must say, I felt cheated. I was dying to contribute but was helpless, felt under-confident about myself and 1000 other negative thoughts were weighing on me as I sat on the bench that day.

I questioned why I put in so much work (magnitude) when it ended up not going in any direction. This started the journey of Scalars and Vectors for me. I now realize that even though I could not see the direction then, I made sure to put in the work (magnitude) without worrying about the direction. Today, I can clearly see the direction of my work – I have such beautiful memories and strong relationships resulting from what work I had put into basketball back then.

So, for your information, Scalar is a quantity that has only one property and that is magnitude while Vector has 2 properties, magnitude as well as direction.

People who have been close to me know that, public speaking and expressing myself were 2 skills that I eagerly wanted to develop. I started pushing myself to practice these skills whenever I got the opportunity – at family functions, weddings, and even in school. I took a major step in this direction when I joined ENTERPRISE with the aim of personality development. Since then, I’ve come a long long way in terms of public speaking and expressing myself. This is one of the instances where I took conscious action in a direction and transformed into a vector.

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IT’S OKAY TO BE SCALAR, BUT IT’S NOT OKAY TO BE NOTHING!

 

This, I say from personal experience. As I mentioned in my previous blog on my process of self-reflection, one of the many realizations I’ve had is that it’s very tough for me to drive a project by my energy. I’ll do it with full energy if someone tells me to but doing it all by myself has been difficult for me. If someone does not point me in a direction, I get lost, I work effectively only in the presence of structure and instruction. I decided that to change this, I must keep doing the work without worrying about the direction; the direction will reveal itself after a while. 

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Scalar is the engine of a boat while the rudder(controls direction) is a vector!

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I’ve also been in situations where I’ve been doing a lot of work, being productive, trying to be true to my goal but I start losing interest after a while and I feel other projects are more exciting than what I’m doing right now. So what happens is, in the quest of doing a lot I tend to jump from one project to another and I feel this stopped me from promoting myself from being a scalar to a vector. But now I feel I’ve started to hold on with what I do and it has slowly but steadily started pointing me in a direction that I want to or probably that I’m destined to.

School was one of the most exciting times of my life and certainly, I have a lot of interesting and positive memories from that time. Right from school, I stressed and worked on expressing myself in the best manner possible. It was a struggle then and it is still a struggle.

Not many of my friends know this but dancing infuses a different kind of energy into me. It takes me into a whole different world. I feel like on top of the world. I always wanted to join a dance class and learn different dance forms right from school. It’s been 6 years out of school and I still haven’t acted upon that dream. I’ve always believed that dance is one of the best mediums to express yourselves and also to get rid of your stress. So now, I have enrolled for an online dance class and I’ll be starting my journey of learning dance. It’s never too late to start something and I want to prove this to myself. I see a lot of people putting up their dance videos on social media, now I want to put up some as well! Kidding okay(xP)

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Most of the ideas are lost only in the quest of doing it to perfection and/or finding the right timing!

 

This thought stopped me from taking up dance when I was in school. I over-analyze the situations sometimes or probably I’ll say always, but things have to change. It’s time that we just start with whatever we have in mind and invest full energy for a definite period and then analyze where we stand and what should be the next step.

Even through this blog, I am overcoming the fear of expressing myself, not waiting for the perfect content for my blog but just moving ahead with what seems right and doing this with a purpose of doing something productive rather than thinking how is this going to be useful for me in the future!This was an attempt in relating real life with Scalars and Vectors. Writing this blog is like being scalar, just putting in work with no definite goal and direction, but I believe that one day this would start taking shape in some form and point me in a direction that would transform me and help me achieve that I’ve always wanted for myself.