New Chapter

Since my childhood, I was always compared myself to my sibling. From relatives to teachers in the school, everyone asked me to learn discipline and pick up skills from her. Every time I heard those statements or taunts, I started feeling inferior in my own house. From those days I always felt like doing more than just enough and getting out of my comfort zone. Even though I never had any agenda against my beloved sister, I might have unintentionally created a barricade between us. A barricade of misunderstandings and inferiority.

Years passed and the barricade never broke, my feeling towards myself and my confidence was very low. I got nightmares of failing at academics and co-curricular now and then! This caused my behavior to become shy and introverted. I never shared my feelings with anyone and opening up for me was like entering the wrong password on a digital locker to unlock it. 

I was introduced to Enterprise India Fellowship and my perspective on life and my environment was enhanced. At the start, I was very skeptical about joining this fellowship journey as it sounded very exhaustive and time-consuming. Still, it was the opportunity to get out of my comfort zone and regain all my confidence. I started my journey with hesitations but I knew there was no looking back, this was my shot at shutting all the noises in my head and doubting myself. My fellowship journey is in the endgame now and there are numerous memories that I have created in the past 2 years. More importantly, I have had a complete attitude change and things started changing for me. I was finally pushing myself outside the comfort zone I created for myself. There were many instances where I could break the barricade slowly and steadily that I had created for myself unintentionally. 

The projects helped me pick up so many skills and learnings that I could implement in my own life outside these projects. I still remember how I was applauded by all members and partners for creating a wonderful presentation on a project called the Service Design project. The presentation created by me was used for future reference by the Enterprise team. These moments might sound small and normal, but for me, they skyrocketed my confidence and ability to express myself. In college projects, I am the first one to step up and complete such PowerPoint presentations. Presenting it in front of my classmates is not a big deal anymore either.

 I overcame the stage fear in one more lifelong experience as I hosted a Green Room. The Green Room event had at least half a ton of people and a ton of eyes staring straight at you. This experience opened up my public speaking confidence for me, before that, I used to always be quiet in meetings and never answer in my online classes too. However, this took a complete 180 degrees after that eventful night. I took the responsibility, stood up, and stared right at my fear as I hosted our Green Room guests with all my energy.

The happy experiences were accompanied by some unpleasant ones and the journey taught me that life cannot always be fruitful. Sometimes it will be unfair and your workload will be as heavy as carrying a baby elephant on your shoulders. But these were the times that taught me how to prioritize and manage time, how deal with team members, and also have mental peace. There were some very hard times and unfair work means where I had to complete most of the tasks due to the absentee of the partner assigned to me. These times were very frustrating but there is a learning in almost everything you do; no effort goes wasted.

As an introvert, making small conversations with strangers seemed to be almost impossible until I got the opportunity of interviewing people of different backgrounds and fields in the industry. Firstly, the team created a questionnaire for the interview and my first-ever formal interview was online. No matter the platform, the intensity was out of the world! I was terrified to make any talk but as I started and opened up to the interviewee, I was enjoying talking. Just a few minutes into the interview, I could easily go with the flow and pick up questions to make a proper conversation. This helped in making connections outside the internet world as I learned it is important to make conversation and socialize. It became easier to make friends and blend with people in college. Socializing and listening are some very essential skills that I grabbed upon.

There were many skills that I picked up ranging from documentation to taking interviews, being a part of a team to leading a project, doing primary and secondary research to making guideline sheets for a client, etc. None of them were half as important as the life lessons that I acquired; Your only competition in life should be yourself, be better than you were yesterday and never compare yourself to others. The barricade I created was broken down to ashes and I had regained my confidence in speaking again! Not only speaking but I was opening up to my close ones and my heart and shoulders felt so much lighter. I was in a wave of complete mental peace as any problem thrown at me would have a different approach to solving.

As I reflect on my journey, I have understood that your greatest opposition is yourself who is always pushing you down with all the self-doubts and insecurities but you have to rise against them as I did. I am still fighting some of my battles and I am very glad that I got to experience such sweet and sour episodes as a partner. About time to become a fellow and move forward with another exciting jetpack ride!