Seeing The Change From Within

Have you ever had this feeling of your ears getting blocked due to pressure and you cant hear the other person and even worse you can’t hear yourself? I face this every time I have an intense workout, especially on a Leg Day.

If you have ever faced this situation, I understand how it feels. It just gets so frustrating like Ugghhhh!

Well people experience a similar thing when you don’t hear them out or I feel the same way when my thoughts are criticized and not heard. When I share an idea I just think of how  I feel very proud and excited within myself to share. The feeling is so intense that I feel like I am a freaking genius. But as soon as I present this thought and if anyone criticizes, the entire feeling just crashes like a collapsing building. I never had this realization or awareness that I used to do the same in certain situations and how I felt that I was being honest.  I was being the good guy here!

This reminds me of the time when my family was renovating the house and all the family members had to put forward their suggestions. I found myself criticizing and putting forward my views. At that moment I felt I was being honest and straight forward but I failed to see the emotions the other person had with their thoughts. Of course, I am not saying we shouldn’t criticize but all I am trying to say is to hear people out first. The reaction that I had in this particular case was a bit strong since there is an element of excitement with all the thoughts and suggestions I had to share. 

The same can be said for a professional life where I am always hearing out people’s suggestions and constantly criticizing them, but one day my father let me in on teaching that though your team members might not be giving useful suggestions, It’s always important to at least listen to what they have to say and appreciate the fact that they had the courage to speak out and share their thoughts. In acknowledgment of this teaching, I  decided to say phrases such as “Thank you for sharing this!” or “Thank you for being so open!”.

 This changed everything. Now, I have a very different understanding of how I should think about certain things. 

All these instances have given me some concrete deep understanding of how I used to react and how important it is to change.

But NO! I still feel these instances and experiences I had were not enough for my realization, It had to be some personal experience to make me realize my reactions! Something like a relationship.

I feel close friends are the ones who will always let me know of the bad attributes within myself. One of my good friends once told me how I always react to some conversations that we have among ourselves, and how I react to every single suggestion and thoughts that he had. At That time I felt that I was being a good friend by being honest to him. Little did I know that I was actually criticizing a lot of his thoughts and he did not feel good about that. This instance was a big eye-opener for me as I realized that if my friend is getting affected by this how am I affecting other people?

This was truly a turning point where I got to know some hidden personality traits about myself.

From that day onwards I decided with true emotional power within myself that I should respect and hear people out first. Not just listening through my ears but also with my heart. Reading between the lines and appreciating rather than criticizing others.

How will I handle it? I would first try to listen to others’ opinions first before mine and practice my control. There will be a hundred words I would want to say that time but I will remember the change I am trying to make and for which greater good I am changing.