The Doubt That Follows

Every decision we make is like planting a seed. At first, we can’t tell if it will grow into something strong or wither away. The only way to know if we made the right choice is to wait, nurture it, and see what grows.

Every major decision I’ve made—whether leaving computer engineering, joining experiential education, or even smaller ones like picking a hobby—has followed a similar pattern. What is it? You’ll know by the end.

Two months ago, I made one such decision. What happened to my seed? You can decide after reading my story.

The Fall

In January 2025, I started looking for an apprenticeship. I applied to multiple places, reached out to connections, and asked for references. I got interview calls from some companies, and everything seemed to be going well. But in the last week of applications, I made a mistake, and suddenly, I was out of options—right at the deadline.

I didn’t know what to do. I was confused, and more than that, I was scared.

While most of my peers had already begun their apprenticeships, I was back to square one—sending out more applications, reaching out to people again, and trying to secure interviews. I still remember the tension of that week. Even when I took breaks or went for a walk, my mind wouldn’t stop racing. It showed on my face, and my work suffered.

But with the help of my mentors, I kept going. A few days later, I completed some interviews and, without overthinking, decided to join an organization. I had met the founder before, and he seemed like a great person. I thought this was it—my hard days were over.

But something unexpected was waiting for me.

The Doubt

The first few days at the organization felt normal. I was adjusting to a new environment, understanding my scope of work, and dealing with the usual nervousness. But even after settling in, I wasn’t sure if I had made the right decision. The doubt crept in, and before I knew it, I was overthinking everything.

I found myself constantly looking at the clock, waiting for the day to end. Waking up in the morning became difficult because I wasn’t enjoying my work. I wasn’t happy.

Like every workplace, mine had its pros and cons. But because I was stuck in a spiral of negative thoughts, I couldn’t even see the good parts. That’s when I decided to pause, reflect, and analyze my situation.

What I discovered surprised me.

The Shift

When I looked at my decision with a clear mind, I realized I wasn’t in a bad place at all. In fact, I was in an amazing environment. I just hadn’t noticed it because my mind was clouded with doubt. Once I shifted my focus, everything changed. Clarity replaced uncertainty, and before I knew it, I had reclaimed the joy within me.

The last few weeks were completely different. I built strong connections with my colleagues, performed much better, and my work was appreciated. Every time someone acknowledged my efforts, my confidence grew. I didn’t mind staying late to finish tasks, and waking up early felt easier, even exciting.

I started enjoying my work. As my time at the organization neared its end, I found it hard to leave—I had grown attached to the place and the people.

The Reflection

Now, as I look back on this journey, I can proudly say it was the right choice. All I had to do was pause and reflect.

Every time I make a difficult decision, there’s discomfort at the start. But over time, as I gain clarity, it gets easier. I believe uncertainty causes discomfort, but I also know that chasing the unknown helps me grow.

From now on, whenever I face this doubt after making a decision, I’ll follow this simple three-step reflection process, which I designed with the help of my mentor:

1.List all the negative thoughts—because doubt often comes from negativity, not the positives.

2.Write down the worst-case scenario—what’s the absolute worst that can happen?

3.Identify what I can learn from it—if the worst happens, what’s the takeaway?

That’s it.

If it’s right for me, great. If not, letting go won’t be so hard.

– Piyush Pandit