Choosing Authenticity Over Approval

Imagine you are in a war, ready to give your all and defeat as many people as possible. You’re standing right in the middle of the battleground, with a troop on your left and another on your right. You’re fully equipped, high on energy, and ready to get this started. But you have to make a choice: which side do you want to fight with, and which side do you want to defeat before both of them consume you completely?

This is similar to what happens to me when I try to make decisions. It feels like I’m at war with my heart and the world around me.

Don’t get me wrong—it’s not that I can’t make decisions. It’s about making the right decision. The thing about taking the right decision is that you never know if it was the right decision, because there was always another decision that could have been right. And that’s what bothers me.

While I was writing this blog, we did a lot of reflection and identified an umbrella question that keeps coming up in our day-to-day lives. I wrote an entire piece on it, following the instructions we were given. But for some reason, I didn’t feel like it was one of my best works. That’s when I realized—maybe I get so absorbed in how others do things that I don’t think originally. I often feel scared to follow my heart, thinking, What if this isn’t accepted by the people around me?

Let’s dive a little deeper into this feeling. I see myself as a separate person in a room full of people when I have to make a decision. I am an individual in that room, and now my conscience has to decide who to trust for a particular task. My negative self-image always makes me tilt toward anyone other than myself. But why does this happen? After a lot of thinking, I realized that maybe it’s because I don’t trust myself as much as I trust others.

A few days ago, during my apprenticeship at Scarters, I had a very important presentation to create. I’m usually quite good at presentations and like to add my own element of interactivity. But this time, I was scared. I was scared to portray my true self and present the way I usually do in front of my own office. So I decided to choose what others would do: I created an extremely professional, text-heavy presentation with little to no visuals. I knew deep down it would be boring, but I thought, At least I’ll look mature, and they won’t see me as a student but as a professional, right?

Well, wrong!

I went to Let’s Enterprise a day before my presentation and showed it to my mentors and I felt a look of disappointment coming my way. They asked me to redo it and make it how I would present it at Let’s Enterprise—turn it into a workshop.

That night, as I stared at my presentation, I had a choice to make: stick to what the world usually does and play it safe, or do it my way and break some rules. I told myself it was worth the risk and changed the entire format of the presentation. I got my audience to participate in activities and made them understand the true meaning of my project by helping them feel like they were the customers.

It was a hit!

Everyone applauded, and my boss came to me and said, “Zainab, I am so proud of you!” That was enough to keep me on cloud nine for the rest of the week.

The thing about trusting yourself is that it’s not easy. Everyone in the world wants to be a hero. When you watch an inspiring movie, you think to yourself, I wish I could be as great as the main character. But have you ever wondered what makes them the main character? They always stand out from the crowd. And I feel that’s because they don’t do what the world wants them to do—they do what they want to do and let the world adjust to it. That’s what makes them unique.

While writing this paragraph, I kept thinking of one such character: Captain Jack Sparrow.

Jack Sparrow has that strong main character energy—he’s quirky, fun, and independent. He knows how to stand out. Not once in the movie does Jack Sparrow stop being himself. He trusts who he is so much and has such a consistent personality. That’s what’s important for me too: having a consistent personality that I know will make me stand out.

It’s not about silencing the world around me or ignoring the voice within—it’s about learning how to let both coexist without losing who I am in the process.

So here’s a question for all of you who relate to this blog:
“Do you trust yourself enough to let your voice be louder than the world’s?”

– Zainab